Radiation

Hi! I’m backkkkkk. It is been a REALLY long time since my last post. As a high school counselor, a great majority my time during the months of September-January is spent writing countless letters of recommendation for students’ college applications. Needless to say, when I get home, the last thing that I want to do is sit in front of a computer and write. Plus when I get home from work, my main focus shifts to parent survival mode: keep Easton busy, while one of us makes dinner and try to contain the toy cyclone that is about to hit our living room. By the time Easton goes to bed, Caley and I are pooped and all we want to do is sit down and watch our favorite trashy tv shows together. But, because I am caught up for the next major application deadline, I finally get a little time to breathe. And, to write. Now, let’s pick up where we left off…

Towards the end of July, my oncologist told me that it was finally time to start thinking about radiation. Because the cancer has spread into my chest wall and lymph nodes, the doctors wanted to make sure that any cells left over from surgery and chemotherapy were killed. Although radiation would not guarantee that every little cancerous cells was destroyed, it would definitely help. I agreed to follow through on this next phase of treatment and scheduled my first appointment. Unfortunately, Kaiser only has radiation equipment at Kaiser Sunset in LA, Kaiser Ontario, and Kaiser Anaheim, all of which are 20+ miles from where I live. Because radiation treatments would take place 5 days a week, Monday-Friday, for 5 weeks straight, I knew I needed a location that wouldn’t make the drive absolutely miserable. For this reason, I chose Kaiser Anaheim. Driving to this location each day meant that I would be going against traffic during the morning rush, and it was a straight shot down the 91 freeway. Fortunately, they were able to give me one of the first appointments in the morning which meant that I could go about my day once I was finished.

Prior to my official treatments starting, I met with a radiation technician at the Kaiser Anaheim location to undergo a series of scans that the radiology oncologist and physicists were going to use to map out my treatment. Because radiation is a series of beams that is essentially destroying cells within your body, it is crucial that these beams to don’t hit certain organs. Scary right? Once they took the scans, they determined which way the beams in the radiation machine would be set up for each treatment. The goal is to have the beams precisely hit the targeted area every single time. In order to ensure that the technicians would know where to line up the beams at each treatment, I was told that I would be receiving 4 little blue dot tattoos on my chest. Excuse me, did you say tattoos?

I have to admit, I was very nervous about these tattoos. Although I knew they were going to be little, I think I was afraid of what they would look like in addition to the buzzing noise of the tattoo needle. EEEEK! I’m a big chicken, I know. The technician told me that I would not get the tattoos until my “test run.” Whew! The “test run” appointment is like a mock treatment. During the test run, the radiologists make sure that the “mapping” they decided on is accurate and safe. I’m telling you, this radiation thing is no joke. They take it very seriously….as they should.

Finally the day of my “test run” came. They brought me into the radiation room which was a HUGE room with the machine right in the middle. There were greens beams shooting from two side of the room which intersected on the radiation table. One of the walls was pure glass with a beautiful plant wall behind it. The room was named “Serenity” and I could definitely understand why. It was very calm, and there was some soft music playing in the background. They told me that can put one whichever Pandora station I’d like during my treatments. For this particular morning, Bob Marley was already playing, and it was calming and relaxing so I told them that they could keep it. 

After they positioned me on the table, they told me that it was time for the moment that I had been dreading…the tattoos. The nurse came over to my side and told me that she would be placing 4 small dots around the right side of my chest. To my surprise, the needle actually looked more like an injection needle. It had no buzzing sound or any resemblance of the tattoo needles I’ve seen on tv. She told me that she was ready to begin, and I took a deep breath as she started the first dot. In retrospect, I don’t know why I was so nervous about the pain of the needle. I had forgot that I still had no feeling around the whole right side of my chest and shoulder. So in other words, I didn’t feel a thing. Duh, Kelley! As I laid there for the remaining tattoos, a song from the band Sublime came on. For a minute, I felt like I was in an actual tattoo parlor. Although this isn’t how I pictured getting my first tattoo, the ambiance was pretty legit.

Four tiny itty bitty blue dots later, I was ready for my treatment test run. The technicians went behind the screen and the machine began to circle around me and move accordingly to how the beams were centered. It lasted a whole 3-5 minutes, and then I was done. This is pretty much how all of my treatments for the next 5 weeks went. As soon as I got the radiation center, I waited to get called back, changed into a gown, received my 3-5 minute treatment, and I was finished. The treatments themselves were pretty painless. The real pain started about 2 weeks into treatment, once my skin began to burn.

Weeks 3-5 got progressively worse. Fortunately, my skin never blistered, but it was definitely sensitive. I rubbed pure aloe vera and a medicated ointment on it a couple times a day to help with the pain. The most inconvenient part was trying to find clothes that wouldn’t irritate the area. Even a bra was challenging to wear at times. My energy was pretty good, except I would feel a little tired towards the end of the day.

Week 2

Week 4

Radiation to the Lymph Nodes

Week 5. Looks like someone took an iron to my chest

Burning on my back from the rays going through my chest

During the last week of my radiation treatments, I actually began back at work. On my first day, I walked into an office filled with balloons, “welcome back” signs, and inspirational quotes posted all around my office.  Our schools’s ASB also gave me a beautiful gift basket filled with pink items to represent breast cancer and a really cool sign that said “stay strong” to hang in my office. It was so nice to be back and feel so much love from my students and colleagues. I am so grateful to work with  them and be around such amazing people each day.

Before I knew it, 5 weeks had past, and I finished my last treatment. That was a grand total of 25 radiation treatments. Upon returning to school, I found a beautiful vase of roses on my desk, given by my mom, to congratulate me on the end of radiation. The treatments were long and monotonous, but I got through it. Around that time, my hair also started growing back. Horray! I’m pretty sure I told Caley “Look! Look! It’s coming back!” about 3-5 times a day for those first few weeks. Thank you Caley for continuing to acknowledge this momentous occasion for me, although I’m sure it got pretty annoying at times.

Although it has been several months since my last post, my plan is to keep writing about my experience. During my time off, I realized that writing for my blog was actually therapeutic. Of course, my hope is still for it to bring awareness to the experiences breast cancer patients face and hopefully help someone in the process. Because I don’t want my writing to take time away from spending time with my family or doing other things I love, it may be a little shorter, less refined, and more sporadic. Nevertheless, thank you for reading my blog posts and following me on this journey.

Much love,

Kelley